All you need to know about traditional wedding etiquette in the church : seating for the family, the order of the bridal procession, and the order of the recession.
Seating the Family and Guests
Wedding planning includes working out who sits where at the wedding ceremony and does not need to be difficult. Traditionally, in Western Christian churches the bride’s family sits on the left side of the aisle while the groom’s family sits on the right. The problems sometimes begin when there are step-parents.
The mothers always have the best seats, in the front row. The fathers sit beside them, but in the case of a step-parent, the mother of the bride or mother of the groom would still sit at the front with her new partner, or on her own. The father would sit in the 2nd row, with or without a new partner.
Grandparents can either sit with parents or in the 3rd row, behind them, depending on space.
The mother of the bride is the last person to be seated. Traditionally the father of the bride would be waiting to walk down the aisle with his daughter, so either the usher, or another family member could escort the mother to her seat.
When everyone is seated, the celebrant and the groom enter and the best man follows. The best man then stands with the groom and the celebrant.
The Processional
- When the bride is ready, the appropriate wedding music starts and the procession begins with the youngest attendant. Flower girls, ring bearers and young bridesmaids enter first. They can walk in pairs or alone, although it is often best to have the smaller attendants in pairs, closely followed by a bridesmaid.
- Older bridesmaids and maids of honour (married bridesmaids) follow.
- The entrance of the bride with her father or other escort.
The guests and family usually stand for the entrance of the attendants and the bride.
There should be sufficient seats at the front for the attendants and the father of the bride.
The Recessional
At the end of the ceremony, the celebrant will pronounce the bride and groom married and might introduce them as husband and wife. At this stage the ceremony is over and the recessional, leaving the church, begins as follows:
- The couple walk back down the aisle first.
- Then the flower girl and ring bearer.
- Bridesmaids and best man.
- The parents of the bride should leave next, followed by the parents of the groom.
- The remaining guests leave row by row. If there is an usher, this can be organized from the front row to the back.
The family and guests naturally want to congratulate the couple and traditionally the bride and groom and their parents wait at the doorway, in a receiving line. As the guests walk down the aisle, they are then able to greet the couple, passing forward and creating an area outside or on the steps outside the door through which the couple will walk. At this point confetti can be thrown. (Use herbs such as lavender, dried flower petals or birdseed.)
Traditional ways are not necessarily the best, but to have a plan for who does what, and when, means that everyone knows what is expected of them and the wedding will proceed with grace.
